One Door Closes Another Opens

My research isn’t stopping after this class, but the blogging will. I will be researching and learning my entire life, that’s just the position I’m in. This class has opened my eyes to things I never knew about (e.g. Rwanda, FGM) I had no knowledge on any of these subjects basically. I’m glad I’ve learned about them, chances are I won’t always stay updated, but at least I won’t be blind to it anymore. I’ve deepened my knowledge on gay rights internationally, this is a good thing. I probably would have just stayed with what was relevant to me otherwise. I’ve re-examined books I’ve read, things I’ve searched for, and arguments I’ve been in. I am myself, which is plain and simply complex. I have shaped myself and my views based on the things I’ve experienced. I hope that some random person may someday find this blog and read it- for it to influence them to make a change, even if it’s just within them.

The sources which interested me most I have starred*, there are others which I mentioned and were web sources (most of which are linked or can be searched based on my information). Annie on My Mind is one of those “must reads” along with Gay & Lesbian Rights- they are towards different stages of a GLBT person’s life. Annie on My Mind speaking to the young adults and Gay & Lesbian Rights to the adult readers. They influence a persons life, just by reading a few pages.The Newsweek from 2008 automatically interested me when I saw it, I grabbed a copy from my Psychology teacher and borrowed it for a weekend. It’s the truth inside and out, something that just needs to be known. Also, The Lucifer Effect was a book I found before this class. I picked it for the cover, then bought it for the name and read it because of what the book jacket said. It’s a good book, what makes good people do bad things?

Annotated Bibliography:

*Ali, Lorraine. “Mrs. Kramer vs. Mrs. Kramer.” Newsweek 15 Dec. 2008: 32-36.
Print. The complications within a lesbian custody fight.

Carter, Julie H. “United States: Exploring the Marriage Debate.” Journal of Gay
& Lesbian Issues in Education 2.2: 117-119. Print. Shows an interesting
teaching method surrounding gay marriage and how students are taught about
civil unions and gay rights.

*Garden, Nancy. Annie on My Mind. N.p.: n.p., 2007. N. pag. Print.

“Gay, Lesbian Protection Added to Hate Crimes Act.” Contemporary Sexuality
41.11: 7. Print. Found while researching GLBT rights in general, law didn’t
pass with Transgendered in it.

The Johns Hopkins University Press. “Getting Lesbian and Gay Issues on the
International Human Rights Agenda.” Human Rights Quarterly 18.1: 67-106.
Print. Discusses various points that need to be reviewed/changed in the
GLBT society around the world.

*McWhorter Sember, Brette. Gay & Lesbian Rights. Naperville: Sphinx-Sourcebooks,
2006. N. pag. Print. Book all about Gay and Lesbian rights as couples and
single persons.

*Miller, Lisa. “Our Mutual Joy.” Newsweek 15 Dec. 2008: 28-31. Print. The
Religious Case for Gay Marriage.

*Zimbardo, Philip. The Lucifer Effect. New York: Random, 2007. N. pag. Print.
Good and evil, how good people turn evil.

Book pages are omitted because I used various pages or just an overview for thoughts.

My Life of Research. [double post]

I originally was going to make this combined post about life in-general of a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered person but decided not to. Instead, I’m going to do something a bit different- I don’t know someone’s life, but I know my own. My final research post is going to be my life and the research I’ve done and things I’ve read.

I’ve known I’m a lesbian for around five years, looking back on my life I’m shocked I didn’t realize it sooner. I’ve had to research various aspects of my life, partially because being different means having to defend yourself. For the past five years I’ve had people tell me my “choice” is a wrong one. I’ve found so many books on the subject, people hold their own opinions and find research to back it up. Obviously if they need research, they don’t really know. My initial response to them at the beginning was, “I didn’t choose to be this way.” Around 2007 I was talking with my friend who’s gay, we came up with a better response: “Why would I choose this? Why would anyone choose endless torment, hate, abuse, threats against their life, discrimination, lack of rights, inability to get married or at least have it recognized, visit your partner in the hospital,  it’s harder if not impossible to adopt, losing friends- family, then having to keep the secret and hide.” This normally stops people in their tracks or makes them say “Then why choose it?”.  I’m happy being who I am, but it doesn’t come without major hurdles to overcome. I’ve had people who were once friends completely drop me, been discriminated against in various ways, been threatened and verbally abused. I’m one of the lucky ones who hasn’t been physically abused. If one day I’m in a long-term relationship and my partner and I want to adopt- there are places mentioned in Gay&Lesbian Rights (book) that are open-minded, but you have to wait a long time. If my partner/wife is in the hospital dying or very sick, chances are I won’t be able to visit them or make decisions for them- we lack those rights that come with marriage. I’ve done research on adoption, marriage, visitation, rights that come with marriage, how to “come out of the closet”. I’ve helped other people through these things, because a lot of the time you’re alone through it. There are books by a few authors that I read when I was younger- they help, they can give you hope. Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden was the first lesbian book I ever read, it was amazing and made me smile. I had it hidden in my room because I hadn’t told my parents at that point, eventually they would find out(that’s for later). I e-mailed her and she responded back to me, I was actually pretty shocked. She helped me, not only by writing that book, but by actually taking the time to care. Another writer, Julie Anne Peters has written a few amazing books. I have to admit, her style ends in a bit of a somber tone- it’s a journey through the characters lives. These writers among various others helped me learn more and feel less alone. Literature is research to a kid and teenager, it shapes the way we live and grow. Coming out is one of the scariest things according to just about everyone I’ve talked to and based on my own experiences. It’s something that doesn’t just stop at some point, you come out to people throughout your entire life. My first experience was when I told a few of my friends, everyone took it fine except one. It was overload for her and she told her mom, her mom told me not to talk to her daughter, but it didn’t stop there. She called my mom and told her-enter all the screaming on the other end of the phone, telling me that she can’t believe it and that dad’s going to talk to me when they get home, you aren’t gay, it’s just a mistake or a phase- that’s all the fun stuff. I let her think I was straight until 2008, but ended up telling dad while sitting at the dentist’s office in the summer of 2008- he took it fine and didn’t care, he’s always supported me. Dad told my aunt and grandparents later on in the year who then told everyone else basically. I’m not even sure who knows and doesn’t know at this point, haha. Mom finally forced it out of me the day before my birthday in 2008, needless to say it didn’t go well at first- now she’s fine with it. It’s an insane roller coaster ride throughout your entire life if you choose to tell people- some will leave, but the people who care stay. There are books for parents out there, I even did some research and found some websites too (all of which I sent to my mom). Other things I’ve had to research are various laws. I was president and founder of my high school’s GSA, they didn’t want it to exist and they had to let me start it. If the school has any clubs, they are required to allow it or they get rid of clubs in general. I had to research the Day of Silence, what the rules were- I left school that day, finding out multiple people had been suspended and expelled. This was a direct violation of our rights because they were following the rules. Lambda Legal has lawyers who can be contacted if this happens, I made pretty good friends with them and learned a lot about rights. It’s been a learning process, I really think there should be a complete manual at this point. Everything a person experiences is different- some people have parents who are perfectly okay, some get kicked out, sometimes worse. Some people live in places where if they’ve been beaten because of it- cops will intervene, other people live in towns where the police will sit and laugh. Society needs to make a change, because it shouldn’t be more difficult to grow up as yourself just because you’re “different”.

There have been large numbers of casualties, a few known ones are Matthew Shepard and Lawrence “Larry” King. They were killed for being who they are, it’s not fair yet in a lot of places it’s just murder rather than a hate crime.

Five Years of My Life Combined Posts 4/18 4/25 & 5/2

A year older than me at the time of his incarceration, not even the incarceration- he was captured and sold like a slave to the United States… Oh  the irony. Going from Monstering to Murat Kurnaz’s personal account of what he went through sort of affected me more than the other stories we read. Him being so close to my age when all of this took place was also something that drew me into the book. It’s the things that we would never expect to happen that interest the most. We realize that there’s more out there that we can’t even begin to imagine. The fact that this is the United States for the majority of the book that is in-charge where he is beaten. The fact that doctors aren’t really for making things better, but for making sure you’re able to withstand another go of hanging from the ceiling. This sets me back a lot considering it undermines everything I once thought about the United States basically. I knew that prisons were bad here and had heard jokes about Guantanamo, but they were nothing like the truth. I had heard jokes about sex in Guantanamo, but that was the extent of my knowledge other than maybe that all the “bad people” were there. The IRF, or the Immediate Reaction Force was a group of five to eight soldiers equipped with riot gear to step in when someone broke a rule. Often the prisoners didn’t know that they were breaking a rule, or the rule was completely insignificant and other times they just treated them like toys. The prisoners were there for the IRF’s amusement.

“If you lay down during the day you were punished. We weren’t allowed to touch the fence or even lean our backs up against it. We weren’t allowed to talk. We weren’t to speak to or look at the guards. We weren’t allowed to draw in the sand or whistle or sing or smile. Every time I unknowingly broke a rule, or because they had just invented a new one, did something I shouldn’t have, the IRF team would come and beat me. “(100)

Like I stated, they were playthings to be used and broken. Yet the prisoners gained some sense of power through hunger strikes. The prison didn’t want them to die, so they listened to their requests. They didn’t want to lose control, so they actually held elections via word of mouth and elected an emir. It intimidated the system that they had an organized leadership going. They attempted to bring it down by bringing in the “official emirs” and beating them, yet they never found the real emir. As of 2007 he was still in Guantanamo and is still the prisoners’ true leader.

Something I’ve wondered is all the people Murat mentioned throughout the book: Where are they now? Some had died, and then as of 2007 many of them were still in Guantanamo. I doubt they’ve been released, but it’d be nice to know out of curiosity. He tells us all about their stories from his perspective, and how they influenced him and I wish I knew more about them. For example the man who would not cry when tortured, yet when other people were tortured he would cry for them. That is compassion and complete selflessness. Another example is the man with no legs, and he would have to use the bucket, yet his knuckles were so bruised and swollen he couldn’t grasp the rim and they wouldn’t allow him to touch the fence. I mean, what damage is he going to do with swollen fingers and stubs for legs? He doesn’t have the ability to do it, all he wanted to do was go to the bathroom. And of course, the final example of compassion and personality is Murat himself. He would feed the animals bread when they came into his cell when he barely had enough for himself. He didn’t kill the black la cruz spider which is very poisonous because it hadn’t done anything to him.

Something that also struck me was in interrogation at Camp Delta in 2002, they would ask you normal questions then add in questions that could potentially trap you and ask you to answer without thinking.

“Have you ever worn black shoes?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever seen children’s film?”

“Yes.”

“Are you Al Qaeda?”

“No.”

Trick questions, I thought.

“Faster,” they said. “You have to answer faster. Do you drink water?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever had a toothache?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love your mother?”

“Yes.”

“Did you want to join the Taliban?”

“No.” (174)

They had the sole intention of getting him to slip up and “admit” to being a terrorist.The line in particular that struck me was, “Mr. Kurnaz,” they said. “We believe you’ve lied to us. There are some things we want to check out to get concrete evidence against you. You’ll see. It looks very bad for you.” (175) The fact that after having him for a year already they had no evidence and had to keep searching for it is appalling. One thing about the people of the United States is that we don’t want to admit when were wrong… Come on, you know it’s true for whoever is reading this. I’ll admit it here, but don’t tell my parents… They’ll never know =]

Also, not everyone is the same. For example, there is a guard who would always ask Murat if he wanted another plateful of food. He didn’t agree with what they were doing in Guantanamo and he felt so bad about what was going on. They were told that these men which the United States had paid for were dangerous killers.  [Quote that made me giggle: "He said that President Bush had ruined America's reputation in the world."] He was excitedly talking to Murat, he only had two hours to go until his time serving was done. He apologized to Murat for what was being done and said he would try to help him when he got back to the States. I wish Murat had gotten his name as well,  but hope that the MP read his book and found him.

Once his lawyer showed up everything got a bit better, he went from Camp 1 to Camp 4 where people actually got real clothing, more food (still crappy food, but more of it). They even had a little mascot which was a cat that sat outside the fence and when a guard came it would disappear. He was sent to Romeo when he was caught working out, which of course in the mindset of the guards, the prisoners are “dangerous”… Letting them actually have muscles after being reduced to a little more than nothing is such a crime (please note the sarcasm).

I didn’t believe that this next passage is true coming from the Guards, here’s something heartbreaking:

“I was sleeping in my block in Camp 1 when, suddenly, a  large group of soldiers came and woke us up, telling us to hand over our blankets, mattresses, and all our clothes. We knew something big had happened. This next night news came from Bravo. Three people died, a prisoner yelled. The following night  we got their names. One of them was Yesser Talal al Zahrani from Saudi Arabia… I was very sad to hear Yasser was dead. I didn’t know the other two people; one was a Saudi and the other was from Yemen. The guards said all three of them had committed suicide. Hung themselves.” (213)

When I first read it, I told my friend, “I really don’t think I could trust the guards saying a thing like that. Given the brute force they often exerted on the prisoners- it could have been just another cover-up of an interrogation gone wrong.” and of course, I wasn’t wrong, but not completely right either. They had set it up, made it seem like a suicide- it just didn’t match up.

Soon, but not soon enough after five years of prison, he got a call saying that he was going to be released. He was hesitant, thinking they may do like they had done with others and put you on a plane just to be brought back to your cell. That’s also torture, except rather than breaking bones or cutting off fingers they tax you mentally and break your hope down. Without hope or will there is basically nothing left. Except, this wasn’t a joke and he was being released. They gave him street clothes and still treated him like a prisoner as he began his journey home.

“They shackled me, put on the goggles, the soundproof headphones, and the gas mask, and led me into a hermetically sealed bus… I was the only prisoner on the plane.”

After a homecoming with his parents, well during depending on how you view a homecoming…

“I became aware of the plastic band around my waist, the green armband with my photo, the number 061 and the name “KUNN, MURAT.”… They had interrogated, tormented, and tortured me nearly every day for five years, but they never learned how to spell my name correctly. Once, when I pointed this out, they beat me and accused me of giving them false information.

That’s the truth, everything you think isn’t what you should believe.

Click here

Vacation Time?

So I’ve been thinking, it’s almost summer which means vacation time! Naturally, after my research blog from last week I wondered where I can’t go on a trip, at least not safely. Using the same website with the interactive map that I mentioned in last weeks blog, I found out there are four countries which do not allow gays and lesbians to visit the country. I know in some countries that you may visit, but their laws against GLBT people still apply to you. In these countries: Belize, Lesotho, Swaziland, and Trinidad & Tobago as a lesbian I would be unable to travel into the country. I find it slightly amusing that in Belize, Swaziland and Lesotho lesbian relationships are allowed, but gay relationships are illegal and punished severely. A slight double standard, when neither is actually wrong.  

What reasons do the countries give for banning the sexual relations between men?

Lesotho-Sodomy is prohibited as a common-law offence. It is defined as “unlawful and intentional sexual relationship per anum between two human males.”

Swaziland-Sodomy – it is sexual intercourse per anus between two human males – is prohibited as a common law offence.
The Government has plans to include prohibitions of all male homosexual acts and lesbian acts in
it’s revision of the Sexual Offences laws.
The proposed penalties are imprisonment for a minimum period of two years, or a minimum fine of E5 000.
It has, however, not been adopted as of publication of ILGA’s State Sponsored Homophobia 2009.

Trinidad & Tobago-Section 13.
“(1) A person who commits buggery is guilty of an offence and is liable on conviction to imprisonment
(a) if committed by an adult on a minor, for life;
(b) if committed by an adult on another adult, for twenty-five years;
(c) if committed by a minor, for five years.
(2) In this section “buggery” means sexual intercourse per anum by a male person with a male person or by a male person with a female person.”
Section 16.
(1) A person who commits an act of serious indecency on or towards another is guilty of an offence and is liable on conviction to imprisonment
(a)if committed on or towards a minor under sixteen years of age for ten years for a first
offence and to imprisonment for fifteen years for a subsequent offence;
(b) if committed on or towards a person sixteen years of age or more for five years.
(2) Subsection (1) does not apply to an act of serious indecency committed in private between
(a) a husband and his wife; or
(b) a male person and a female person each of whom is sixteen years of age or more, both of
whom consent to the commission of the act.
(3) An act of “serious indecency” is an act, other than sexual intercourse (whether natural or unnatural), by a person involving the use of the genital organ for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”

Belize-Unnatural Crime
Section 53.
“Every person who has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any person or animal shall be liable to imprisonment for ten years.”

Carnal, unnatural, unlawful- how is love, lust or even someone’s personal life a matter of government importance. I honestly don’t see why what happens in the bedroom is important to the powers that reside.

Did anyone note how a word is spelled wrong in one of the laws? That’s a failure to me.

Saudi Arabia and Iran

Life in Saudi Arabia and Iran for a GLBTQ person isn’t easy. Nothing is ever easy because people are prejudice. In both countries, it is illegal to not be straight. The Penalties are Death, and in Saudi Arabia- prison, fines and whipping as well. I know my personal opinion is all over this blog, but you can’t do anything about it if you don’t have your opinion. I think this is absolutely revolting and a major violation of human rights.

Whipping is cruel torture to me, I mean we now frown upon the whipping of slaves. Is it any different for people now? I’ve found personal accounts of lesbian women who have escaped and found asylum in other countries and what they went through.  One Iranian woman has been beaten, tortured and threatened with the prospect of being hung is now being denied asylum and sent back to Iran. If she goes back she is faced with certain death.

Pegah Emambakhsh is a 40-year-old lesbian who fled Iran and sought asylum in the UK in 2005. Her partner had been sentenced to death by stoning after they had been caught. Another story of a woman is: “

Earlier this year the UK Gay News interviewed a 48-year-old lesbian who escaped Iran 17 years ago. The woman, whose name was not used for her own safety, said she was arrested and tortured, the first time when she was 21. She spent three months in prison.

The second time she was arrested was much worse. She was imprisoned for two years where they threatened her with hanging. She was given 160 lashes, tied to a bed in the middle of the prison yard, while the other prisoners watched. They threatened to burn her. She said she was tied to a car and pulled across the ground.”

If that isn’t torture, I’m not sure what is. It is physically and mentally damaging and will most likely affect her for the rest of her life. According to this woman, there were thirty eight other women who were in jail for being a lesbian. I wonder what fate they received.

A story of life: here

An excerpt from the aforementioned interview is here: “

They arrested you for writing love letters?

In my second arrest I was forced to confess my lesbianism.  Right now as I am writing these words my body is shaking, all of a sudden I feel cold. I wish God would avenge every second of my life spent being beaten with cables and filled with the screams of me and my girlfriend, who was only 17 at the time.  They placed me in the solitary confinement wing.  I had been beaten so much, I was bleeding heavily.  I pleaded with them to help me but they didn’t.

Still, the side-effects of the beatings have not gone away.  The judge in Esfahan’s revolutionary court suggested I repent and cooperate with them, help them arrest others in the lesbian community.  After rejecting his offer, I suffered another severe beating and a couple of days later they relocated me to the woman’s ward.”

Also, she was married off by her family in hopes that it would “straighten her out” or at least cover her sexuality. Although in current times she is alone, she still dreams to be able to help the women who can’t get away. Maybe one day she won’t have to deal with that by herself.

Click here for an interactive map of the world and LGBT laws.

Monstering:Tara McKelvey

Since we watched the video in class on Wednesday, I actually realized I own Zimbardo’s book The Lucifer Effect. Which talks about what makes good people turn evil. I actually picked the book because of the cover and read it because of the subject. Since I’m interested in psychology, the book struck my interest.

What I was about to find out by reading Monstering was sickening. The fact that the soldiers dehumanized the prisoners to such an extent and found it amusing. Seeing the photos from Abu Ghraib quite literally made me sick, I’m not sure how they could do that to another human. It’s disgusting and I just can’t believe it. Well, I guess I have to believe it, but it’s something I never would have expected. They were given guidelines as to what they were allowed to do, yet authority turned their attention elsewhere and gave them free space to roam.

With freedom comes responsibility, unless you’re the guards at Abu Ghraib apparently… They assulted prisoners sexually, a prisoner actually gave birth while in the prision and although it isn’t stated flat-out, it is implied that it was after the rape of a soldier, possibly consensual. Of course, I’d assume if you’re a woman in prison there that’d you’d try almost anything to get out. The lengths people go to to get their way is horrific.

Something that made me think is the videos, a) I would love to see them and b) what the heck were they thinking? They were so stupid to record themselves doing something irrational and illegal and plain flat out wrong, yet they still shouldn’t have done it in the first place. They decided to get a cheap high by Robotripping. “The syrup is thick and sweet, and it smells both fruity and medicinal. They chased it down with two tablets of Vivarin: “Robotripping.” It’s a cheap high- like LSD (I’ve been told)— except more jangly” (21) They created music videos and recorded scenes to music that anywhere else, the person in the video would be in jail for years- viewed as some cryptic message about their intentions.

The military did everything possible to cover up their wrong-doings, yet when you’re torturing someone and degrade them publicly, you’re going to get caught. The night shift was given the room to roam and soften them up for interrogation. The images of prisoners, bleeding, naked, stacked on the floor, treated like animals. How can a person do this, what made them do it? They placed the mentally ill with the “criminals”, when someone is mentally ill they shouldn’t be in a prison… They are handicapped and should be given the opportunity to live because they are different. The person wasn’t mentally equipped with a fraction of the ability to deal with the environment of Abu Ghraib.

So the amusement and immaturity of the soldiers led to prisoners dying. They wouldn’t get in trouble, they were just doing what they were told. People aren’t invincible, we all die someday but it shouldn’t be from the power-tripping free-reign soldiers.

Gay Marriage Internationally?

Ever wondered what the status of gay marriage is around the world? This is something I’ve been watching for the past seven years or so, things have been slowly changing…. For better or worse?

The state of things is as followed:

No information-dark gray

Homosexuality legal Same-sex marriage- navy Other type of partnership (or unregistered cohabitation)-blue Foreign same-sex marriages recognized-light blue No recognition of same-sex couples- light gray

Homosexuality illegal Minimal penalty- yellow Large penalty-orange Life in prison-red Death penalty-mahogany

The status of gay marriage in Europe has been in a good state since the late 80′s, early 90′s whereas the United States is decently far behind. I know I’ve talked before about gay marriage in the United States, but it’s important to me because it lies close to my heart… I’d love to eventually be able to get married one day and not have to live in one of the few states where if I’m in a hospital my wife could come see me as my wife and not as a regular visitor. On the other hand I am glad that I don’t live in some places throughout North Africa and Asia, where I would be killed for who I am. It’s not only marriage that is enforced with the death penalty, but also being a homosexual. Also, to breach on inhumane torture, often the punishments for being gay is being stoned to death or lashed repeatedly and various other things that most people could never imagine. Although going back to the United States, I recently found a Newsweek article from around a year ago that went through difficulties of Same-sex marriage in the US such has tricky divorces and the second-parent adoption fiasco. Plain and simple, the US isn’t totally prepared for gay marriage, but needs to be. Same-sex marriage in the United States has been a roller coaster ride with being legalized in California, then having that taken away and fighting for it again. A video that made me smile because it’s so adorable is located here. While the government made the right decision to keep the marriages that took place in the few short months legal, it’s sad that it had to go. I believe that the status of gay marriage will change in the United States, hopefully an eventual law for the entire nation, until then individual states are stepping up and making it legal. Progress is made slowly but surely- next week I’ll go into strictly international treatment with the death penalty.